Back to the Wood
by Ms. Mapes

I stand up
and push the chair into the table,
thoughts ransack my mind
vying for attention,
surely the devils are loose again.
Abandoned, small,
and out of control,
I feel at the mercy
of the trickster's tauntings;
tears brim in my eyes.
I compare myself to everyone else,
they seem calm, attentive and composed,
surely the gods delight in my fellows.
I rise and raise Manjrushi's sword,
I rise and wave my Ganeshian trunk.
I push the chair into the table
and leave the room.

My body knows
what my mind forgets,
that forests and trees
and running brooks
are where my heart finds rest.
Shakuntala revives!
The rain hits my face,
as I walk to the dorm
and nature's waterfall
works her lovely charm.
Fairy nymphs by my side,
laugh at the silly demons,
temporarily left behind,
Menaka lifts my right elbow,
and Mishkareshi my left.
I enter the dormitory,
nestled in the pines,
high in the hills of Worcester,
above the banks of the Blackstone,
adorn myself in sneakers,
shorts and a running bra,
and begin to run.

The rain calls gently,
"Shakuntala! Shakuntala!"
I'm pulled into the woods,
"Shakuntala! Shakuntala!"
My feet find the stone pebbled trail,
ancient drums beat in my chest.
"Ay-yi-yi, Ay-yi-yi!"
A high-pitched Shamanic cry
bursts out of my lips,
as I stride along:
the brook,
the ground,
the feet,
the hill,
the rain and sweat are one,
until demonic hic-cups return
and rattle my brain.
Won't they ever rest?
I raise Manjushri's sword
and cry the ancient cry,
"Ay-yi-yi, Ay-yi-yi!"
When suddenly both demons
and cries are silenced
by a gentle fawn
who steps out of the wood.

Fifty feet apart,
we stare,
and share a sisterhood,
both startled,
both frightened,
both interested.
We stare.
She bows to take grass,
her head quickly pops up,
she looks at me,
then back to the wood,
then back to me.
We stare.
I fall to my knees,
she bows to take grass,
I stand and walk towards her,
her head quickly pops up,
I take a step closer,
she looks back to the wood,
another step closer,
she looks at me
and we stare,
an eternity.

Then she turns
and runs
back to the wood.
I stare,
transformed,
and feel in my bones,
that Shakuntala is home.